Blogging is supposed to be fun – well, mostly it is, unless you have to deal with rude comments, or a comment you made on Facebook – always have a Facebook account with your blog as it develops a readership for you – angered one of your “Like”, formerly known as “Fan”. Exactly that happened to me yesterday. Usually I wouldn’t make a big deal about it, but in this case I lost a reader due to a historical event, namely the apology of the British Prime Minister in regards to the events of Bloody Sunday – See also my post Bloody Sunday: PM Apologizes For Killings .
I will get into more details later, but, first, let’s look into some blogging aspects.
This post is about handling comments made by readers, especially those who disagree with your writing. Eric Hoffer once said, rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength, and it is usually rudeness that dominates negative comments. As a blogger you should not dispose of negative feedback, but you need to deal with it. I use them to my advantage under the motto, if life is a lemon make lemon juice.
I approve every comment made on my blog (unless they are spam), and I respond to most of them, specifically the rude ones. Not only do I call these people on their rudeness; I also contradict them while staying as sober as possible. It’s like a chess game where you know several moves ahead of time that your opponent will be checkmate. The rudeness is a dead giveaway, indicating emotional distress, unable to express a sober and profound counter view.
My bible on blogging, The Huffington Post Complete Guide To Blogging – See my post Oprah, Statue of Liberty Praise FrogenYozurt.Com, comments on responding to comments:
“Before you start blogging, have a long talk with your favorite shrink or best friend. … You can respond to each comment individually or in bunches, which is one of the merits of blogging. But do not expect that you will win over all your critics.”
Another aspect on responding to comments is not to make enemies. Well, easier said than done. The negative responses I received were primarily in regards to my research for my novel The Bleeding Hills, which is about the Irish Troubles, past and present, including the events of Bloody Sunday. See my post Sunday Bloody Sunday – Beyond U2.
I pride myself of applying intense research on the topics I write about. At the same time I am allowed to take some liberties when it comes to writing the novel. However, that liberty does not apply to the actual research which I usually post here on my blog. The first time I received such a comment I re-engaged into more research just to find that the initial result was not flawed in any shape or form. The criticism was mostly based on more or less philosophical differences, never on facts.
Steven Weber, actor and Huffpost blogger, wrote about the difference between being a humble and charming actor and a truthful, not-so-humble blogger:
“People are usually pleasant but rarely critical, at least to my face. Rover [Weber's blog] has changed that. People fucking hate me. Hate me. … What a schmuck. Again, not being humble. Being truthful. I am potentially biting the hand that feeds me and my family. … So essentially I have learned, as a blogger, to be truthful and humble, but to pay careful attention to the possibly labored technique of my little forays into social commentary, rather than worrying about offending people with the content.”
Source: The Huffington Post Complete Guide To Blogging.
Personally, while treating every comment with the necessary respect, I don’t quite agree with the humble aspect. I write my posts, and I try very hard not to offend, but I do dare to provoke. There is nothing wrong about being provocative with the intention to trigger a thought process, and those who have a brain will get it; those who don’t may feel offended, and they usually use insult to express their mind.
One of those provocative posts was Robert Nairac – Hero, Butcher, Homosexual…?. Let me quote from the post:
“During the research for my book “The Bleeding Hills” I stumbled upon the intriguing story of one charismatic character, British Captain Robert Nairac, an undercover agent active during the Irish troubles. While Irish republicans consider him a butcher, and the British Army calls him a war hero, they all share the view that “he was strange” – to use a mild expression.
First of all, after studying various articles on the life and death of Robert Nairac, I have come to the conclusion that Nairac was driven by a death wish, a point that may not be disputed by many of those who knew him. My next conclusion may be, however, far more controversial. After applying a simple method of studying behavioral patterns and comparing it to recent as well as historical cases, I have come to the personal conclusion that Captain Robert Nairac was either gay and/or the victim of sexual abuse during his childhood.”
At the time of writing the post I was aware of the provocative nature of the title – nothing wrong with “aggressive marketing” – especially when read by military conservatives in Great Britain. I did not expect I would be contacted by the daughter of one of Captain Nairac’s fellow colleagues, but that’s exactly what happened.
Natalie from England took offense on the characterization of her father in the post.
“…has been described as “a nasty bit of work — a psychotic … He bit his fingernails down to the white half-moons and was living on his nerves continually, possibly taking drugs.”
Naturally, Natalie did not agree that her father was described as a psychotic; neither did he take drugs. The truth is, I quoted from an article in an Irish newspaper, and the comments were made within quotation marks. Nevertheless, Natalie took offense, and she accused me of superficial, incompetent research, not only about her father, but also in regards to Captain Robert Nairac. She continued her tirades on Facebook after signing up as a “Fan” on my Facebook page. As I wrote, humble is not one of my attributes when it comes to my research, and I challenged her to contradict my findings, which didn’t happen. After a while, we agreed that we did not agree. She stayed a Facebook “Fan”, though.
My research was challenged again by another British citizen, who, yet again, threw insult after insult at me, but in the end could not contribute any facts. As it turns out, he felt offended by the post’s title, but admitted that other sources had come to the same conclusion about Nairac’s sexual affiliation. The theory (and I made clear that this is what it is) that Nairac was the victim of child abuse is still solely mine. The indications of child abuse are, in my personal opinion, compelling, and I would expect readers to put some thoughts into the matter rather than dismissing it as nonsense right away. But this is not how it works with blogs, and, as I wrote before, as a blogger you need to learn to deal with that kind of situation.
Recent events, such as the apology of the British prime minster, and current newspaper articles addressing Bloody Sunday confirmed yet again that my research was thorough. I couldn’t help to express my excitement not only on my blog, but also on Facebook.
“guardian.co.uk: Paras ‘out of control’ on Bloody Sunday – PM reads Saville inquiry findings – Marchers take to streets of Derry – Calls for prosecution of ex-army chief.
I have been accused of superficial and misleading research for my novel “The Bleeding Hills,” and these days, now that the Saville report is being released, my findings are confirmed by current articles in The Guardian addressing British handling of the Irish Troubles.”
That same day Natalie from England removed herself as a “Like”, formerly known as “Fan”. Oh well.
Oops, I Lost A Facebook "Like"
I will get into more details later, but, first, let’s look into some blogging aspects.
This post is about handling comments made by readers, especially those who disagree with your writing. Eric Hoffer once said, rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength, and it is usually rudeness that dominates negative comments. As a blogger you should not dispose of negative feedback, but you need to deal with it. I use them to my advantage under the motto, if life is a lemon make lemon juice.
I approve every comment made on my blog (unless they are spam), and I respond to most of them, specifically the rude ones. Not only do I call these people on their rudeness; I also contradict them while staying as sober as possible. It’s like a chess game where you know several moves ahead of time that your opponent will be checkmate. The rudeness is a dead giveaway, indicating emotional distress, unable to express a sober and profound counter view.
My bible on blogging, The Huffington Post Complete Guide To Blogging – See my post Oprah, Statue of Liberty Praise FrogenYozurt.Com, comments on responding to comments:
Another aspect on responding to comments is not to make enemies. Well, easier said than done. The negative responses I received were primarily in regards to my research for my novel The Bleeding Hills, which is about the Irish Troubles, past and present, including the events of Bloody Sunday. See my post Sunday Bloody Sunday – Beyond U2.
I pride myself of applying intense research on the topics I write about. At the same time I am allowed to take some liberties when it comes to writing the novel. However, that liberty does not apply to the actual research which I usually post here on my blog. The first time I received such a comment I re-engaged into more research just to find that the initial result was not flawed in any shape or form. The criticism was mostly based on more or less philosophical differences, never on facts.
Steven Weber, actor and Huffpost blogger, wrote about the difference between being a humble and charming actor and a truthful, not-so-humble blogger:
Personally, while treating every comment with the necessary respect, I don’t quite agree with the humble aspect. I write my posts, and I try very hard not to offend, but I do dare to provoke. There is nothing wrong about being provocative with the intention to trigger a thought process, and those who have a brain will get it; those who don’t may feel offended, and they usually use insult to express their mind.
One of those provocative posts was Robert Nairac – Hero, Butcher, Homosexual…?. Let me quote from the post:
At the time of writing the post I was aware of the provocative nature of the title – nothing wrong with “aggressive marketing” – especially when read by military conservatives in Great Britain. I did not expect I would be contacted by the daughter of one of Captain Nairac’s fellow colleagues, but that’s exactly what happened.
Natalie from England took offense on the characterization of her father in the post.
Naturally, Natalie did not agree that her father was described as a psychotic; neither did he take drugs. The truth is, I quoted from an article in an Irish newspaper, and the comments were made within quotation marks. Nevertheless, Natalie took offense, and she accused me of superficial, incompetent research, not only about her father, but also in regards to Captain Robert Nairac. She continued her tirades on Facebook after signing up as a “Fan” on my Facebook page. As I wrote, humble is not one of my attributes when it comes to my research, and I challenged her to contradict my findings, which didn’t happen. After a while, we agreed that we did not agree. She stayed a Facebook “Fan”, though.
My research was challenged again by another British citizen, who, yet again, threw insult after insult at me, but in the end could not contribute any facts. As it turns out, he felt offended by the post’s title, but admitted that other sources had come to the same conclusion about Nairac’s sexual affiliation. The theory (and I made clear that this is what it is) that Nairac was the victim of child abuse is still solely mine. The indications of child abuse are, in my personal opinion, compelling, and I would expect readers to put some thoughts into the matter rather than dismissing it as nonsense right away. But this is not how it works with blogs, and, as I wrote before, as a blogger you need to learn to deal with that kind of situation.
Recent events, such as the apology of the British prime minster, and current newspaper articles addressing Bloody Sunday confirmed yet again that my research was thorough. I couldn’t help to express my excitement not only on my blog, but also on Facebook.
That same day Natalie from England removed herself as a “Like”, formerly known as “Fan”. Oh well.