Ok, so my aunt is in the middle of her mid-life crisis and she decided that she would come down to the states and live with my family.  I’ve been away in school for most of the year and I’m back home now.  In college-land, one just does things.  It is not necessary or relevant to check in with everyone all the time.  It is not necessary or relevant to check in with anyone at all, unless you are going to a friend’s place late at night.  Now, I’m back home from college-land, and everyone assumes that I’m already with the schedule.  My reaction is “WoW!” what is my aunt doing here? (She doesn’t have kids or a hubby, bvtw.)  She lives up in Canada, and she’s just staying here with no end in sight.

Naturally, I’m still in my college mindset, not checking in with anyone.  Okay, so they want me to check in….every time I go anywhere or do anything…clearly they don’t understand the concept of going from 0 to 100 just doesn’t work.  Since I don’t check in regularly, they treat me like I’m two.  Have they not considered that I’ve been on my own, 600 miles away from home, for the past year?  I know how to handle myself.

So what now?  The parents let me live far away from home, this means that they think I’m grown, and yet when I’m back home and I employ the skills I used away, they think me a child.  They treat me like a child in social interaction, in ability to take care of myself and things, and yet they want me to drive my aunt and my brother all over creation.  They treat me like an adult in my driving ability.  What gives?  If you’re going to treat me like a child, treat me like a child.  If you’re going to treat me like I’m an adult, treat me like an adult.  Don’t give me half-way treatment.  I’m smarter than you think I am and it infuriates me even more so when you expect both behaviors of me.  Trust me, if you treat me, or anyone else like they are children, that’s how they will behave towards you.  If you treat us like we’re mature adults, that’s how we behave.

Consistency is key.