A Contribution by Reagan Wilda. For more information see Reagan’s section on this website.
It’s been awhile since I have written. I have no excuses really other than life has been a little hectic and crazy lately. Our twins are now one year olds and I recently realized we have entered into a whole new world of parenthood. Getting through life in the NICU and being home with two newborn preemies seems like ages ago. Now, we have successfully moved out of the formula feeding, bottle washing, sleeping most of the day and playing stationary on the floor phase and moved into the moving nonstop, sippy cup spilling and food tossing stage. Oh yea, did I mention the putting everything in your mouth stage? I didn’t know this at first, but come to find out there are different speeds to a crawl. My children prefer high speed most of the time. It is like watching a gecko run, their whole body wiggles and in a blink of an eye they have managed to cross a room and wiggle into the one spot they shouldn’t be but I somehow neglected to gate off. They are good at pointing out where I miss these things. I am happy to say, I think we finally got it. Our house is like a maze of gates and barriers. Our dog is completely beside himself and gets lost in the maze but importantly, the girls are safe.
This time last year, our babies were lying in incubators, surgeries still ahead of them and so much uncertainty about our future. Today they are healthy and they are happy and without a doubt they keep me on my toes. What continues to amaze me about them is that their laughs and even their cries are so genuine and both are equally as contagious. When they laugh I laugh and when they cry, it breaks my heart. I don’t think there is a mother out there who hasn’t cried at one point or another at the sound of her own crying baby. Even if just from being overtired. I do however feel blessed that I am the mommy who gets to make it all better. How little snuggles or a tickle on the belly can make it all okay again. Wiping away their little tears and replacing them with a mostly toothless grin is a feeling I just can’t describe no matter how hard I try. I will have to remember these days when I have to say “no” to giving them the car keys or letting them stay out past curfew. I must enjoy every moment, because as I am learning, it goes by fast.
Did I mention that I am learning a lot too? For example, I have learned how to change a diaper in a matter of seconds while my child is crawling away. This is a skill I have only partially mastered, as my husband can attest to after coming home once or twice to two bare bottomed babies crawling around the house and me, sitting on the floor surrounded by diapers and wipes with my hands up in the air and the look of defeat on my face. I have also learned the little tricks that keep the girls entertained and happy. What songs they like, what toys seem to always do the trick and the foods that are always a big hit. I have mentioned before that I have certainly learned there are many things about parenthood that come naturally but there are also there are the things you learn as you go. You just hope that someday your children won’t remember when you put their diaper on backwards or when they cried because you didn’t figure out fast enough that they wanted the blue stuffed bear and not the pink one. You hope they remember that you were the one to wipe the tears away. That you stayed up all hours of the night holding and singing to them to sooth the ache of a new tooth coming in. Or that you kissed the boo boo they got on their knee while trying to stand for the first time. No matter how old they are, you hope they know that you will always be the one who will be there to wipe their tears away.