WHAT  MAKES A SOCIOPATH?

The Absence of Feelings: Sociopaths may seem to laugh or cry but they present with no depth of emotion. While easily provoked to frustration or rage, their display of feeling is little more than a momentary, isolated temper tantrum. To the sociopath, other people are tools to get them what they want: money, sex, a job or other possessions. They live in their own amoral world where nothing they do has any consequences and where they owe no one anything. They have no empathy. Thus, they elude all responsibility for their actions, and can easily turn the tables, blaming their partner without guilt or shame.
The Relentlessness of Deception: Sociopaths lie all the time. As they don’t view their spouse as a thinking, feeling person, they do not see this behavior as wrong. Their only quest is to serve themselves and, if this entails lying, cheating or even murder, they will do so. If one catches them in lies, they are brilliant at changing the subject, placing the onus on the other person, denying their involvement or trying to make their spouse seem crazy. They are even good at deceiving the police and the court system; sociopaths rarely end up in prison for their actions.
The Impulsiveness of Action: Sociopathic individuals rarely plan ahead. They undertake actions on the basis of momentary whims, often devious ones. Every act seems isolated in its own amoral universe. Thus, they cannot keep promises or repair the damage they’ve caused to others. When they lie, cheat or steal, the act exists solely for them; they believe it should have no repercussions or real world effects. They often appear to have “forgotten” they did something shortly after it happened. Their need for excitement encourages them to get involved in one night stands, shady deals and ill advised engagements.
Sociopaths have no sense of commitment to their spouses, any children they may have together or the future.

HOW TO SPOT A SOCIOPATH

Sociopaths have impressive social skills, thereby making them extremely hard to spot. They are charming, funny and exciting. This is why we need to be aware. If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.

1) Charisma and charm: They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.

Their manners are impeccable; they are well groomed; they fulfill the codes of romance and courtship to a tee. They are likely to be eloquent talkers who lace their speech with impressive sounding facts and figures. They may be fun, laugh a lot, sweep their partner off their feet with their sweetness.

2) Enormous ego: They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.

3) Overly attentive: They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

4) Jekyll and Hyde personality: One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.

5) Blame others: Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.

6) Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth. If you probe deeper, you’ll find that their stories never stack up.

7) Intense eye contact: Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.

Move fast: They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.

9) Pity play: They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.

10) Sexual magnetism: If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.

Some doctors call them sociopaths, others refer to them as psychopaths. Either way, the terms are used to describe individuals who have a range of personality disorders. These people are NOT certifiably mentally ill; they are biological carriers of socially and personally problematic traits. Such traits may have been manifested from childhood in acts of cruelty to animals, property or people. These characteristics can disrupt relationships, create financial and emotional crises, and, at their worst, lead the person to callously undertake acts of vandalism, theft, rape or murder. Being aware what constitutes a sociopath can help one resist their charm and the errors inherent in establishing a life with them.

Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone. But they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.

You can’t ‘cure’ a sociopath or help them to see the error of their ways. They can’t see the world as we do, and the only thing you can do, is save yourself and walk away.

Dr Annabelle R Charbit

Author of A Life Lived Ridiculously

When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life…

www.ridiculouslife.net

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Some women sail through their pregnancies with nary a misfiring neuron, but if you have ever felt the churning anger that splashes the backs of your eyes and temporarily blinds you, or the black futility of depression, where the mere thought of rising from you bed fills you with horror, then you know what it feels like to feel hormonal.

But how do you explain these feelings to another person such that they get it? Even those closest to us cannot exist inside our heads, and unless you possess science fiction-like abilities to mind merge, or the other person is willing to stick their finger in a live socket every time you feel a twinge, words alone will always fail to do justice to your pain, leaving the listener cold, as you blurt out generic words like “stressed” and “anxious”.

It’s a sad fact that only when we see someone else’s pain, are we able to relate to it. Walk into any A&E and you’ll probably squirm as you observe the open wounds of strangers, leaving them in no doubt that you empathize. But listen to enough depressed people whine about themselves and you would be forgiven for thinking that they were all pathetic losers, lay-abouts and masters of self pity.

When I was five months pregnant, my husband and I moved to a new city, I was unemployed for the first time in 15 years, we spent three weeks living with his parents and I was sprouting thick dark hairs all over my body. It doesn’t take a wizard to understand that I might have been the slightest bit out of sorts. After a particularly stellar performance in a shopping mall, in which I learned that I might be more likely than my child to throw tantrums in public, I found myself trying to explain to my poor husband how I felt inside. I used broad words like “depressed” and “wretched”, but they really didn’t do justice to what the hormones were really doing to my grip on reality.

Day after day i found myself apologizing for my behavior. My sweet husband tried to understand, but really how could he have the slightest clue? By his tenth time of comforting me through the tragedy of running out of string cheese, even he was becoming immune to my incessant caterwauling. Yet for me the pain never got old. Each messy outburst was as fresh as a newly opened wound.

In the end I retreated to my corner, fearful of interacting with anyone lest I offend them, or be tempted to chase them around the room with a knife. Because let’s face it, when a person is going mad in front of you, you see ugliness not pain. And when they try to explain it, you see self pity not humility. How must I look to him, I asked myself. And when, in a brief moment of lucidity, I saw my ugliness through his eyes, I realized that the only way to get through this would be to keep my mouth shut, my opinions to myself and just hope and pray that I would wake up one day and feel normal again.

I’m just fine, thanks…”

 Annabelle

Author of A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

Pretty much everyone knows that a healthy mind, body and soul involves living squarely within your BMI (body mass index).

Well everyone except residents of New York City, it seems. Walking down the streets of Manhattan, you’d be forgiven for thinking you’ve stumbled into a concentration camp. It’s an endless catwalk of underfed females, and when you think it couldn’t possibly get any thinner, you turn a corner and bam, another skeleton clicks its way by.

Women are fighting fat like it’s the devil’s curse, never mind that our brains are 60% fat and our important organs such as kidneys require fat to hold them in position and allow them to function. If you are a single woman living in New York City, fat is evil and must be exorcised at all costs.

I understand that New York City has a disproportionate ratio of women to men, that competition is steep and it’s important to look one’s best. I understand that some women feel the need to wear cocktail dresses in the middle of the day and that for certain woman the monthly make up bill is higher than the rent. What I don’t understand is women who believe that starving themselves to dangerously low weights increases their chances of ensnaring Mr Right.

I mean come on guys, don’t you desire a girl who is happy, healthy, able to hold a conversation and has the shape of a fertile woman who might some day bare you children? Or does it really turn you on to date a girl who throws up after every meal, is cranky from lack of food, has the bone density of an eighty year old and faints every now and then?

Frankly, ladies, a guy who wants to date a skeleton is anything but Mr Right. It makes me mad to see well fed males strolling proudly alongside their starving girlfriends. Since when was a skeleton a status symbol?

On an anthropological level, it would make sense for a man to be drawn to the girl who demonstrates, health, stability and fertility, but clearly that isn’t the case in New York City, where women who look like twelve year old boys are ranked higher than women who look like women.

Has something gone seriously wrong with this society? Or is this just nature’s way of redressing the balance? After all if enough women starve to death, then New York City may one day see an equal male to female ratio. What other explanation could there possibly be?

Annabelle

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

Well my last house guest did not make herself quite as at home as I had hoped. Sure she ate my food and commanded the remote control, but compared to her own tidy home, where shoes are not allowed, she clearly felt that my home was not worthy of the same regard.

June arrived off the plane with a nasty sniffle. Blowing through an entire box of tissues, she explained that she must have contracted some form of the Black Death from those nasty Petri dishes known as airplane seats. I certainly empathized. After a flight, my first instinct is to strip, shower and apply fresh clothing.

As her nose turned red, her eyes black and the rest of her a scary, post-mortem green, she asked to lie down. I pointed her to my bedroom, handing her a bath towel and showing her the location of the bathroom on the way. Meantime I continued preparing the bed in the guest room.

I had expected that she would either stop to shower, or perhaps remove her outer clothing, before flopping onto the bed. But when I returned to the room an hour later, I found June under my sheets, fully clothed except for her shoes. Fighting back the urge to retch, I woke her and sent her to the spare room that was now ready with fresh sheets, whereupon she jumped under the covers still fully clothed and returned to her slumber. Three days later both my husband and I were sick, which was not helped by the fact that I was eight months pregnant.

In the following days, June’s level of cleanliness did not improve. The kitchen seemed to spontaneously explode just by her entering it. Chocolate powder never quite made it into the glass, butter never quite onto the bread, and when the soup bubbled out of the pan, she made no attempt to clean the stove. Instead, she grabbed her tenth box of tissues, blew her nose and slumped off into the living room.

And finally there was the dog. We repeatedly asked her to keep the fuzzy little creature off the furniture, but were ignored every time. Anyone who lives with children knows what it’s like to nag someone a hundred times, only to have them ignore you. It turned out that June had decided that the dog on her lap, was not the same as the dog on the couch. Well silly me.

Eventually, the dog, having figured out long before its owner that it was unwelcome on the furniture, chose to settle on a tapestry that lay folded on the floor. As I entered the living room to find the dog clawing into the beautiful wedding gift that we had planned to hang on our wall, whilst June ignored the whole thing, I finally lost my cool.
“What is she doing?” I yelled.
“Burrowing,” replied June. “It’s what she does. She has terrier in her.”
“Well she’s gonna have a knife in her if you don’t get her claws out of my tapestry.”
Did my house guest apologize? Absolutely not. She fixed me with wounded eyes as she lifted the dog back onto the couch.

Finally June left, at which point I would have heaved a sigh of relief were my nose not so blocked that I couldn’t breathe.

June came and went without leaving us gift.

In spite of everything, I was sad to see her go. Not because I enjoyed having my house treated worse than a rock star’s hotel room, but because she is a friend whose company I enjoy. When I was not busy wondering whether rats would move in, I enjoyed scouring the city together in search of the best hot chocolate. And being chocoholics is just one of the many things that bind us, not to mention how much I enjoy our conversations that last for hours. All of this is why we became friends. My husband has officially banned her from the house, and I certainly agree with him, but can I realistically ban her from my house without banning her from my life?

If I tell June that she was a terrible house guest, she will no doubt be offended, justify herself fiercely and artfully turn it around so that I wind up in the wrong. Isn’t that what we all do when faced with criticism? To quote Dale Carnegie, “Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.”

With that in mind, I have chosen not to confront June. And though she thinks our friendship is intact, I can’t help but resent her. Not so much because she disrespected my home, as because she would never admit to it or apologize for it. Having said that I am pretty certain that one pleasant visit with June on neutral territory, is all it will take to cure my anger. After all, she is charming and I’ve already mentioned that I like her. But even when I am ready to forgive her, I know my husband never will be, and that June will have to remain forever banned from our home.

No good will come from criticizing me...

Annabelle

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

Blogging can certainly be fun if that’s all you’re doing it for. You get to put your emotions into words, perhaps get a debate going, even learn a thing or two from someone you’ve never met and probably never will meet. But if suddenly your intentions change so that you are blogging for readership, credibility, or some other reason where the difference between success and failure becomes an issue, then blogging switches from being fun to just plain old hard work with little reward.

Most depressing is when you have taken the time and trouble to write something that you are certain is interesting and provocative, but the response is minimal to say the least. Insult is then added to injury when you open your daily newspaper to see paid journalists regurgitating the same tired nonsense, while you remain forever trapped in obscurity and dogged by feelings of failure.

One recent article particularly irked me. It was published in a mainstream newspaper by a journalist complaining bitterly about the noise from her young neighbor’s apartment. I certainly agreed with her that she shouldn’t have to endure someone else’s loud music, and had I spotted this in a blog, would most likely have responded with my utter sympathies. But this was published in a mainstream newspaper with a readership of almost 1.4 million. The article was neither clever nor original, though I’m sure that her insightful statement that “85 decibels of Led Zeppelin seeping through your walls are unwanted nerve-frying babble,” would have elicited one or two nods of agreement from the general public, though most probably from frustrated bloggers who’s mission in life is to get you to read and comment back on their equally unoriginal thoughts.

As it is, our journalist did blog about her noisy neighbor and boasted that she received a “wave of messages and comments agreeing” with her. Well if she thinks that everyone enjoys the same blogging experience, then she is blissfully deluded. Without the luxury of the mainstream media at one’s fingertips, blogging may start off as fun, but will rapidly escalate into a full time battle against your own insignificance.

I have been blogging for about four months, and what started out as a fun experiment has rapidly escalated into a nagging reminder that I am at best, mediocre. I don’t believe that I am the only one to experience it this way. Bloggers have become so desperate for validation that they join blog farms and discussion forums where every subject line is entitled “follow me and I’ll follow you.” This is clearly the work of people who have crossed over from blogging for fun to blogging for results. And there is nothing fun about that.

So do you get bogged down by your bogs? I think the answer is yes, absolutely. Unless you are able to achieve an enormous readership (whether or not you deserve it, as in the case of our journalist) or you have a very thick skin.

AnnabelleRC

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she must fight for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

And perhaps that is the case for many women, but right now I would like to give credence to a group of women for whom the second trimester is not a three month long rave party. Rather, for these women the third trimester is where they finally come into their own, find inner peace and start to truly relax and enjoy their pregnancies.

If you are among this group then you will know just what I mean. Your ankles may be the size of fish tanks and you can’t stand upright for more than a few minutes at a time, but you are rewarded with advantages that far outweigh the physical discomfort. Advantages such as these:

1) First and most important of all, you can finally relax and not worry about baby’s health, as baby may be born at any time now and have a full chance of survival. No amount of second trimester hornyness can trump that.

2) The regular kicking serves as a constant reminder that your baby is alive. Now you are truly aware of being pregnant, rather than just looking pregnant and feeling fat.

3) You have long given up trying to figure out what portion of your new weight gain is you and what is baby and are most likely just enjoying those deserts and shelving your guilt until after the birth.

4) It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a heavy meal and feel bloated because you don’t look any different than you did before the meal. So there really isn’t any point in allowing bloatedness to ruin the rest of your evening, as it might have done previously.

5) Everyone smiles at you and offers congratulations. Random strangers start up conversations and some even confide their life stories. So what if you can’t see your feet, you wouldn’t want to anyway. The world is smiling at you, smile back!

6) Finally and best of all, there are no expectations of you, you don’t even have to lift a finger. Now come on ladies, don’t tell me you don’t quickly get used to taking cabs everywhere, to being invited to the front of every line and of course to having first dibs on the last empty chair. We all yearn to feel special, and the third trimester finally gives you a taste of how sweet life is when you actually can be special.

The only downside to the third trimester is that it is only three months long. Frankly I wish it would last forever!

In comparison, trimesters one and two are pure hell and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Trimester one is all about the fear of miscarriage, accompanied by what I can only describe as progesterone psychosis. Progesterone being the hormone responsible for PMS that makes you want to chase your husband around the room with a knife.In a nutshell, trimester one is three months of pure, intense and unrelenting PMS. I am certain that women’s prisons are filled with perfectly reasonable females whose dead husbands made the fatal mistake of switching on ESPN during that critical and badly misunderstood time. Not only that, but at this time, generally no one but you knows that you’re pregnant so you end up going through all this mental torture on your own.

Trimester two doesn’t get any better, except of course, for all those women who annoy the rest of us by claiming to have transformed into sex goddesses overnight. You might be feeling less bloodthirsty, but now you find yourself anxiously waiting for the first moment when baby will kick and you won’t have to call the doctor day and night to inform them that clearly it’s died. It certainly doesn’t help to be bombarded by pregnancy propaganda that dictates that you are supposed to feel ecstatic, energetic and sex crazed on account of progesterone being replaced by oodles of estrogen. With a thickening waistline and an imaginary dead baby inside, happy and sexy can be very hard to conjure at this time.

And then finally, after six long months of mental and physical anguish, you graduate to the third trimester. And you are literally blooming. The world smiles at you and a calm descends upon you. You also realize that the world is full of morons because your baby is never safer and you are never happier. No more progesterone psychosis, no more fear for baby’s life, but because everyone can see that you’re pregnant they decide that now is the time to dish out the special treatment. So my advice to you ladies is to MILK IT. Milk it to make up for trimesters one and two when you really needed the sensitivity of others but it was not forthcoming. Milk it as a reward to yourself and your baby for surviving that cruel first trimester where everything can go wrong yet no one was prepared to give up a seat or let you get away with a soul crushing insult or two. Milk it because it is only three months long and when baby comes you will no longer be entitled to special treatment, downgrading from most important person in the room to social nuisance with noise making brat. Milk it because the third trimester really is the best time of your life!

Annabelle

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she fights for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

Ok we get it, spam is bad. No one wants their newsfeed clogged with thousands of irrelevant adverts, or even relevant advertising, but a thousand times a day. We get it!

But I also think many people are taking their loathing of spam too far…

Let’s say you’re a writer with a new book about to come out. You may join writer’s forums. And let’s say your book has a heavy rock-climbing theme, so you’ll probably also join rock-climbing forums. And in all these forums you’ll talk to hundreds of like-minded people who’ll be happy to learn all about you… all that is except for the fact that you’ve written a book!

The moment you so much as hint at your achievement, bam the petty police (we all know who they are, every forum has at least one) send you hostile and bitter emails that this forum is not the place for self promotion.

Well if you’re a writer in a writer’s forum, then, one should be surprised if you DIDN’T have a book up your sleeve.

As mentioned before (this needs to be repeated, lest some self-righteous petty betty who didn’t read the first paragraph, says something asinine about spam) there is a difference between alerting relevant parties of your new product and bashing them over the head with it in the form of spam. A huge difference!

My editor put out a press release in which she explained that thanks to her fabulous editing, my book has found a publisher. Well of course I shared it to all my social media. It appeared on my Facebook wall (once) in relevant Facebook groups (once), on twitter, stumbleupon and LinkedIn (all once), among others. For the most part people were receptive and offered congratulations. But then there was the bitter mafia, who accused me of everything, from spamming to even faking the press release. One group member said that my publisher wasn’t sufficiently well known for me to claim that I had found a publisher, whilst another said that the press release contained “too much extraneous capitalization,” which made her suspicious.

The best was the sour puss who wrote “is this self promotion or are you advertising the services of your editor? If it’s the latter then fine, but if it’s the former then it has NO place in this forum!” Then what exactly is this ‘writer’s forum’ for, you sad, miserable witch?!

By the end of a day that had started upbeat and full of hope, due to the arrival of the press release, I was totally deflated and broken by so much hostility and plain nastiness. I must add that my book exists purely for entertainment purposes. I am not trying to sell anyone on a concept or a product, so I don’t see the harm in letting people know that it’s out there.

So what promotes this apparent aversion to other people’s attempts to make something of themselves? Is it envy, the desire to see someone fail, or the fear that someone might succeed? And if that is the case, then don’t worry petty police, by the time your done muzzling and breaking the spirits of people you’ve never even met before, many I’m sure will have given up hope and abandoned the project.

As for me, I’m still fighting the good fight, trying to navigate the increasingly strict rules of social media and the oversensitivity of petty people.

Because I may or may not have a have a novel coming out. I’d love to tell you more about it, but can’t in case it offends someone. So I’ll just say this, the title begins with A. Also I have a website, but you can’t have the link because giving someone a link is a major spam crime.

So if you want me you can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn, talking about everything and anything, and always diligently avoiding mentioning that I may or may not soon be a published author.

Oh, and if another person tells me to join google+, I’ll throttle them – I get abused on enough social sites as it is.

Annabelle
(PS, in case anyone is wondering, the most vicious petty betties live on LinkedIn, so beware…)

 Annabelle

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she fights for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

This is the essence of the novel, A Life lived Ridiculously, which has been picked up by Firefly Publishing and Entertainment, and is slated for publication in April 2012.

This powerful, heartfelt and hilarious novel has dazzled the literary world. Mental illness and the dangers of dating a sociopath haven’t been captured like this before.

About A Life Lived Ridiculously

Maxine’s brain is stuck. Everything around her feels wrong and the only way to fix it is to check, double-check, rearrange and count everything. What Maxine can’t fix though is her parents’ constant nagging over the absence of a Jewish husband. A humiliation that is further compounded when her younger brother runs off with Miss Perfect. Then she meets Sam, a smooth-talking charmer with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and enough terminal diseases to wipe out a small village. Maxine decides that Sam is her salvation, never mind that his life is more depressing than a Greek tragedy, and others are urging her to get away from him. The problem is that Sam has Maxine under his spell. Will Maxine escape from Sam before it’s too late…?

This is the story of how Maxine deals with life in the real world, fending off a sociopath, dealing with her family who is always on hand with imaginative ways to criticize her, concocting outrageous schemes with her friend Tina, all in a bid to conquer her OCD and deal with the pain of losing her brother to Miss Perfect.

And when all else fails, Maxine will tell you that nothing quite compares to flattening someone with your car…

Press Releases

Annabelle

A Life Lived Ridiculously
When a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder falls in love with a sociopath, she fights for her sanity and her life.
http://www.ridiculouslife.net/

Naturally, I’m still in my college mindset, not checking in with anyone.  Okay, so they want me to check in….every time I go anywhere or do anything…clearly they don’t understand the concept of going from 0 to 100 just doesn’t work.  Since I don’t check in regularly, they treat me like I’m two.  Have they not considered that I’ve been on my own, 600 miles away from home, for the past year?  I know how to handle myself.

So what now?  The parents let me live far away from home, this means that they think I’m grown, and yet when I’m back home and I employ the skills I used away, they think me a child.  They treat me like a child in social interaction, in ability to take care of myself and things, and yet they want me to drive my aunt and my brother all over creation.  They treat me like an adult in my driving ability.  What gives?  If you’re going to treat me like a child, treat me like a child.  If you’re going to treat me like I’m an adult, treat me like an adult.  Don’t give me half-way treatment.  I’m smarter than you think I am and it infuriates me even more so when you expect both behaviors of me.  Trust me, if you treat me, or anyone else like they are children, that’s how they will behave towards you.  If you treat us like we’re mature adults, that’s how we behave.

Consistency is key.

Are your spindles going down?

Are they noisy? Seizing up? Running hot? Don’t wait until it’s too late – Offer expires soon.

What?

No, my spindles are fine – I think, but I have that scalp itching that doesn’t want to go away. Any advice?

There is much to say about the efficiency of e-mail marketing. Some believe it is the best marketing method since sliced bread, others believe the time of e-mail marketing is over. Regardless which side you’re on, e-mail marketing, successful or not, is cheap, and I mean that not only in terms of low budget. It doesn’t matter if your mailing campaign reaches the right audience/customer. You get an e-mail list with 1,000,000,000 contacts from John Doe, the janitor at the Grand Fenwick diner, to the CEO of Boeing in Chicago, and you send your message to everybody. A 0.001 % success rate out of 1,000,000,000 still makes 1,000 new, potential customers. Mission accomplished.

Excuse me!

Can I talk to the marketing manager at Dynomax Inc. in IL 60090…? Apparently, they forgot what city they live in. I smell some incompetence here. My advice: Go to your local bookstore or go online and buy “Marketing for Dummies.” You need it.

Did you have similar experiences with e-mail campaigns? Let me know…

Let me just explain some bad examples out of my life as the president of a US sales office of a German manufacturer. Due to the complexity of the electronic components we sell, most of the technical support is handled by the German parent company, and, as we all know, Germans are honest and direct. And, of course, we deal with a number of unreasonable requests.

On a number of occasions I had to remind tech support to act more constructive. Much too often they answered with a straight and honest “no,” where I saw the opportunity to create more business. If a customer doesn’t like the color of a capacitor on the board, we can change it. And yes, it will costs them $50 more per board. If a customer wants a driver software for an operating system that was discontinued we can still provide the programming service. It’s only a matter of the customer’s budget (or lack thereof).

“Never they no,” I explained, which, in turn, reminded me of “The Negotiator,” a movie with Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey. As a hostage negotiator you always agree with the kidnapper, however, without losing focus on the main issue at hand – the hostages. In case of customer support, they should never disagree with a customer and keep focus on creating business, either through a satisfied customer base or even creating new orders.

As a result, I came to the conclusion that customer support and hostage negotiation are two related topics. If you are good at one of either, you can still handle the other. And yes, that includes that a skilled customer service rep would be able to effectively communicate with a kidnapper.

If you think that my evaluation is too shallow, or if you can contribute more insights, let me know and leave a comment below. And I don’t expect you necessarily to take me seriously…

For further information on hostage negotiations see the following references:

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Advertisement

Queen of Misfortune

A Lady Jane Grey Novel by Peter Carroll

Queen Of Misfortune is the fictional story of Lady Jane Grey as told by her beloved tutor, John Aylmer. At the time of her execution a stranger is recorded to have assisted her when, blind folded, she lost her way upon the scaffold. Was it the same ‘stranger’ who was also recorded to have visited her when she was imprisoned in the Tower? Little is known of this unfortunate girl who was beheaded for treason in the 16^th Century. She was only 16. She is omitted from the list of monarchs but was actually queen for nine days. Author Peter Carroll, in his novel, follows John Aylmer’s close relationship with Jane as her tutor and later, as she grows up, her lover. [More...]

Available at Amazon.Com, Amazon.co.uk, Barnes & Noble, and any other good bookstore.

Channel 11 News Report - As Found Through The Washington Post Advertisement

As we all know too well, traditional newspapers are suffering from the Internet boom. Subscriber numbers are declining steadily, and the online versions (Damn if you do, damn if you don’t) don’t produce sufficient revenue to support the writing staff.

As a result, many newspapers, besides downsizing, tend to sign contracts with the devil… uhm… online advertising companies who promise high-quality online ads. However, even if you use regular Google Adsense (like this very website) you can’t prevent the display of the most despicable, misleading ad campaigns. Even if you can block ads insulting your sense of taste or style, why would you cut the hand that feeds you?

The Washington Post seems to be one of those newspapers who lower their level of integrity and pride in order to produce more revenue through clicks on their online advertisement.

The result comes in form of, in my very personal opinion, dubious ads such as:

• Channel 11 News Report – How a Small $90 Investment Turned Into $3900..
• 1 Mom’s Tip To Make $279/Day
• EXPOSED: New York Mom Makes $4,000/Month And You Won’t Believe How She Does It!
• $65/Hr Job – 25 Openings
• RMGX HOT Penny Stock – Making money vs. saving the planet? Do both! Invest today!
• Spinal Stenosis Pain? See where laser Spine Surgery Began-No Hospitalization!

You get the picture.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reading The Washington Post, especially Rob Pegoraro with his no-nonsense information on technology. I would hate to see The Washington Post vanish into nothingness. The same is true for other publications such as The Boston Globe (and their ever-annoying Netflix-popups on Boston.Com), The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, and others.

So, here’s my suggestion:

Support The Washington Post Financially Without Spending A Dime

You can support The Washington Post without spending a dime, and you can do a good deed by clicking on those ads that you personally find despicable and misleading. Every click creates some very small revenue for The Washington Post, but if we all do it frequently, it will support The Washington Post, and it will cost the advertisers.

Just a fair warning, though: Do not submit your credit card or any other information to these websites. Just click and close.

If you have doubts about the advertiser’s intention, please check out my section Making Money From Home, which describes their workings.

Pay special attention to my post The Scam: Work At Home Mom Makes $6,397/Month Part-Time, especially the numerous comments it received by those who were scammed or those who were saved by reading the post before signing up. These scams target and hit the most vulnerable people in our society, specifically those without a job. The workings of the advertisers are officially legal due to their disclaimer, basically stating that the website’s content was faked for marketing purposes.

Happy Clicking! You are doing a good deed!

Note: This post reflects my very personal opinion based on research on the topic of online advertisement. My views should not be taken as a proven fact, and they are not necessarily shared by others.

Don’t worry, I already know what’s going on and the answer is very simple. It has a lot to do with those who use Twitter merely for marketing purposes. There is nothing wrong with online marketing tactics… as long as they are designed to target an audience with a real potential for the advertiser’s product or service. Otherwise it’s just spamming, and that seems to become an increasing problem at Twitter (and Facebook).

Yes, there are means to report spam and/or to block a new follower, but there are many who yearn for more followers. Maybe it looks better on their resume. Collecting followers seems to become more of a sport rather than using them for their original purpose: Communication.

I, personally, started to feel uneasy about marking a new follower as spammer. Maybe it’s just a regular business that is just going overboard. Maybe, if I report too many spams, I myself get marked as a cantankerous Twitterer. As a result, I just let them come and go.

Let’s have a look at a short list of my “followers:”

(Note: My Twitter description shows “I am a micro-publisher and a writer. I familiarize myself with the facts, and then distort them any which way I like.”)

• HarryAndDina: The Ultimate Place to Sell Used & New Kids Couture Clothes.
  My son is almost four. But kids couture clothes? I don’t think so.
• tedthorson: Material handling products, including reusable packaging and eco friendly containers
  Yes, material handling is what I need!
• 2ndhandsales – I am the ultimate re-seller of electronic, houseware, jewerly, tools, and liquidation goods. No one will beat the deal that I can give you!!!
  That’s exactly what I need for publishing and writing!
• 12shinynickels – Ladies drink free and amazing comedians Saturday at 11pm. The best weekly standup comedy show in Los Angeles. No joke.
  Yes, that is a joke!
• askyogananda – Hello, I am a follower of Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) My friends and I would be happy to answerer any questions about Yogananda or SRF
  No, thank you. My questions are of a different nature…
• PennyStockAce – Get the pick BEFORE they make their big move!
  Damn! Missed it! They already moved…
• TopNotchMasonry – I am your local masonry and restoration co. 21 yrs. of exp. & IMI trained. Concrete, Chimney, Brick, Block, and Stone repair. I can do it all. FREE ESTIMATES!
  Wisconsin is a beautiful state, but I live in Massachusetts… Should I move?
• evlydotcom – evly – the world’s first Crowdsourcing Social Network, where members can source solutions via powerful crowdsourcing tools & make meaningful social connections.
  Sorry, I am already in a meaningful social connection with my wife and son.
• McIntyreStables – McIntyre Stables is situated in the heart of Batavia, IL. We offer top quality lessons, sales, & training in hunters and jumpers.
  My wife and I actually drove by Batavia, IL at some time, but still no plans to move away from Massachusetts.
• Firewood4WI – We are a local, full service, tree trimming, removal, stump grinding, and firewood delivery company located in Brookfield, WI. Looking for a great deal on Wood?
  Do you deliver to Massachusetts?
• ChessKingShop – The Chess King’s web shop, at your service to help you improve at chess
  I am a lousy chess player!
• hypnotistchris – Chris Hughes is a well established hypnotist, magician and mentalist that frequently performs all over the UK. Follow me to find out more!
  Okay, I’ll fly to the UK to get hypnotized…
• WigSuperstore – A mother & wife, who loves to tweet. We are the authority on wigs and hair extensions. Work with anyone experiencing hair loss, no matter what the reason.
  No thanks, my hair is still my own.

Add to the list multiple “followers” offering motivational help, marketing tips, etc.

Don’t you just love Twitter…?

I don’t believe in what used to be “cold calls” in the times prior to the Internet, i.e. sending meaningless e-mails to thousands or even millions of contacts you bought from one of these dubious services. Maybe you even started scraping addresses from various websites and sending infrequent e-mails. I, personally, do not believe in the effectiveness of e-mail marketing in this form. There are other, much more effective marketing measures like a strong website, online press releases, articles, etc.

Okay, to get to the guts of this… This morning I received an e-mail from “milly” with the subject “Project Management.” Very descriptive, don’t you think…? Well, I took the time to look at it (not actually read, mind you…):

Dear Sir or Madam,

A nice day to you!

After our detailed introduction, would you please choose us to be your supplier to serve for you to work together on your business development? Addtionally, we provide following service to be the guarantee on your quality moulds making and satisfied service,

1 Quotation within 2 working days provision to customer with the issues and suggestion if there is.

2. Mold Flow Analysis will be provided if necessary to find the best gating solution.

2 After customer’s approval on the design to start the projects. Any change or issue to report to customer in time. No welding allowed except customer’s approval.

3 Weekly report with digital pictures sent on every Monday to help customers to track up the schedule.

4 Important dimensions will be tracked and checked from design, machining, mold trial on the steel and the part to ensure it’s within tolerance.

5 Mold Trial report and Inspection report will be provided within 2 working days after mould trial.

6 Steel Material Certificate, and Hardness Report to be reported to guarantee the mould steel quality.

We strictly follow up the rules and give our dedicated attention to the details for every project from concept to completion. We can be your relialbe, important, and A standard supplier on your business development. So, please give us the chance to shine.

More details welcome to browse our website…

Needless to say, but what “Milly, Marketing Manager” proposes has absolutely nothing to do with our business, but I guess in the age of the Internet you can waste your e-mail on everybody.

Well, instead of marking her as a spammer, I wrote back to Milly:

Yes, we are interested. Can you provide me a quotation for 10,000?

Let’s see if she answers…

Are you in the marketing business? I am interested in your opinion.

This past Sunday, October 10, 2010, very much to my and my family’s relief, I returned from a six-day trip to Germany. I am still a German citizen with permanent residence in the United States, and I work for a German manufacturer of industrial electronics. In my capacity as president of the American branch I travel to Germany at least once a year to discuss business, but this time the occasion was a rather sad one.

One of the owners of our parent company, whom I considered a close friend, drowned in the Atlantic Ocean off the French coast a few weeks ago. Therefore the purpose of this visit was to attend a memorial service.

The death of a close friend is always difficult to deal with, and, among many other things, it makes you think about your own life and how it can end unexpectedly within the shortest time after a misguided and, consequently, fateful decision.

My friend will find his final rest in a few days during a sea burial attended only by close members of the family. Thinking about my own mortality, this might be the way I want to be buried as well.

There was also another aspect that gripped my mind during that visit. Our parent company is located in Hannover, the capital city of the Lower Saxony. As a background information: Many English kings came originally from Hannover. Think also of composer Joseph Haydn, who moved from Hannover to London to escape the local sovereign, who in turn became English King a few years later.

There is much to be said about the soberness of my fellow Germans, but, on the other hand, they do enjoy life and they know how to live. Hannover is a vibrant city in the Northern part of Germany, full of the joys of life. Experiencing the diversity and the open-mindedness first-hand was exhilarating. The atmosphere also reminded me of the eight years I lived in Northampton, a small town as vibrant as any big city in the world, just about twenty miles from where I live today.

What I realized during this visit was the sum of all things that my American wife, my three-year-old son, and I are missing by living in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Instead, we are exposed to carefully disguised bigotry and hypocrisy on the lower level up to outright discrimination of any sort including racism and homophobia, and, after all, a profound problem with sticking to the facts.

Let me set the record straight by saying that the majority of people I know do not fit that description, and not all is wrong with Greenfield, Massachusetts. The most pressing problem is that this little town is dominated by an extraordinarily aggressive minority resembling the workings of a politburo during the existence of the former Soviet Union or their most obedient vassal, East Germany. They call themselves the “Greenfield Coalition of a Sustainable Future.” The “Coalition” (a.k.a. C.A.V.E. people of Greenfield, Massachusetts – C.A.V.E. = Citizens Against Virtually Everything) is a group of local business people scared by the prospect of a Walmart in town and a number of wealthy residents who would be annoyed by increased traffic in their neighborhood. The silent majority of ordinary citizens doesn’t play a role in this scenario other than being fed with misleading information.

In addition, we have a Republican contender for the position of State Representative, Steven Adam, who claims he is “hearing the people’s voice.” It seems, the people he listens to, told him to denounce gay marriage. Well, Steve, you lost all the respect I had for you. As a matter of fact, there are many people here in Greenfield who lost my respect for them due to sticking to last-century ideas, including Amy Clarke, Executive Director of the Franklin County Community Meals Program (FCCMP).

Amy Clarke, after years of valuable service to the community, has turned into a slick politician, positioning herself as the spokes-person for the “Coalition,” and maintaining positions that I personally deem counterproductive to the FCCMP’s mission. Add Todd Clark, president of the FCCMP, to the list, who does not believe that a woman (namely my wife) is able to maintain a website.

And then there is our local Rush-Limbaugh-Wannabe, Ben S. Clarke, who writes frequently for the local newspaper, the Recorder. In his view, women can only be accepted when they cook and change diapers (I can show you the clips…). He calls it “gender equity.” No, Ben S. Clarke did not lose my respect; he never had it.

It would require very little efforts on my behalf to extend my list, but enough for now…

I am concerned, one might get the impression that Greenfield, Massachusetts defies everything that made this country, the United States of America, so great. The greatest American values, at least in my mind, are the fight against discrimination, the celebration of diversity, and the profound belief that men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

It appears, though, that some people in our little town of Greenfield somehow missed to benefit from the advancements of the twenty-first century.

The problems we are currently facing are not necessarily unique to Greenfield, but the mere concentration of medieval thinking and acting is nothing less than alarming.

Coming back to my own mortality, when the time comes you may keep my brain if it helps in any conceivable way with keeping up the average IQ, but, please, do not bury my heart in Greenfield, Massachusetts.

And now comes the inevitable outcry from at least one of the “Coalition” followers, “Why did you come to Greenfield in the first place?” or “Why don’t you just move somewhere else?”

First, I came to Greenfield because buying a house in Northampton was not in the budget. Instead we bought an old farmhouse in Greenfield, Massachusetts, a little town that is losing its original population because they either can’t afford living here anymore or they found other, more spirited places.

Secondly, my wife would like to run a horse farm in Virginia. So, if you would like to support my moving plans, I will set up a feature on this website that allows you to make a donation for the good cause. Just let me know…

Thanks to the Recorder, the Greenfield newspaper, we found an advertisement by Shippee Auto, Inc. in Hinsdale, New Hampshire. They always have a variety of used Subarus for very reasonable prices that you don’t get here in town. We live in the Western (the forgotten) part of Massachusetts, just a few miles from the Vermont and New Hampshire border. A drive from Greenfield, Massachusetts to Hinsdale, New Hampshire takes about thirty minutes, and we (my wife, my three-year-old son, and I) decided very quickly in favor of a Subaru Legacy.

Next step: The Motor Vehicle Registry. After returning from Hinsdale I walked over to the Farrell Insurance Agency, which is next door to my office. It is not only the close proximity that provides the ultimate convenience; the service was outstanding. Within shortest time I had insurance for the new car plus all papers needed to register the vehicle. This is in stark contrast to the Borawski Insurance Agency in Northampton where I used to live before moving a few miles North. If you want something from Borawski you need to talk to the one and only person who can assist you, and, sorry, she is in a meeting or assisting another customer. She will call you back (Yeah, right!).

The Motor Vehicle Registry in Greenfield works very efficiently and, to a certain degree, impersonal. If you didn’t bring a book or newspaper, you might enjoy the frequent computer-controlled announcements, “Number A-zero-two-eight at counter number three.” You enter the premises, and you take your ticket. On the ticket you find the information of the estimated waiting time. In my case it was 17 minutes, and the estimate turned out to be accurate. I know, other registries have a bad reputation in terms of waiting time, and I am not complaining at all. It was just amusing to watch the lady who took care of my registration. She was not unfriendly, but, at the same time, not very welcoming. It takes a certain attitude and a thick skin to work here.

Nevertheless, after too many words wasted on the subject, let me tell you the story of Felix Bogdanis. I always think of Felix after I spent some time at the registry. Read his story to the end, and you will get the connection between my Russian friend and the Motor Vehicle Registry. And, by the way… Felix, if you’re out there, somewhere, and by the off-chance you read this post, drop a note below…

Felix Bogdanis was a colleague of mine at a German company with American headquarters in Enfield, Connecticut. That was back in the early 1990′s. Felix came directly from the Soviet Union to move to Springfield, Massachusetts, just a few miles North of Enfield. Be aware of the cultural differences between the communist system in Russia and the capitalism as we know it. Add to this the free-spirited attitude of the American people.

At work there was no bell telling you it was time for lunch, and yet another bell to tell you when to return to work. Felix was a very well educated engineer, but he did not appreciate the lack of rules and regulations. He’d rather live in a European country, preferably Germany, where the interest of the community takes precedence over individual needs. As a result, they do apply the so much desired rules and regulations. Well, it doesn’t work over here, especially not, for instance, in New Hampshire where they “live free or die.”

Felix also did not like the “overly” friendly behavior of the American people. If you deal with Germans, French, or any other European culture on a professional basis, you will be well aware of the sober (to put it diplomatically) attitude they display on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong. They don’t mean to be offensive. That’s just how the system works over there. Why waste time for pleasantries?

Everybody at work loved Felix, and they were very accommodating when he asked for favors. However, they could not find it in their heart to change their social patterns, but they did recommend that he should visit the Motor Vehicle Registry (or whatever the exact title was or is) every now and then when he needed a fix of hostile attitude.

So, whenever I wait at the registry, I remember Felix and I grin. I imagine the medium sized person with dark gray corduroy pants and long-sleeved gray shirt, standing in front of the counter, waiting for his fix. I imagine how the person behind the counter would bark at him, “What do you need?”, and a smile would lighten Felix’ face. “Thank you very much,” he would say. “That’s all I needed.” And then he would turn around and leave.

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Vampire Ascending

by Lorelei Bell

Sabrina Strong is a Touch Clairvoyant who knows a secret. She knows her mother was turned into a vampire when Sabrina was ten. Now that she is grown up, a powerful magnate in the Chicago business world hires her to reveal the identity of who relentlessly murders vampires in his ultra-modern stronghold of a hotel. [Read More...] – Including an excerpt of the first chapter.

Vampire Ascending is now available at Amazon.Com, Amazon.co.uk, Barnes & Noble, and any other good bookstore.

Yes, I understand, this is news; I am still baffled by the intensity. Maybe his new contract contributed to the commotion, but then again, the media frenzy regarding the previously unresolved contract issue strikes me personally as being out of proportion with its significance. I am a vivid Patriots fan, and I understand the importance of a good quarterback, but I also believe that Brady’s best years are now part of history. It appears he spends more time with maintaining his celebrity status and shooting commercials than at his place of work, the football field. On a side note: My wife would like a word or two with Brady’s wife about the inability to breast-feed due to medical conditions. Be assured, our son is fine.

What I’m trying to say is that Brady creates more news off than on the field. I hope he contradicts me in the months to follow. I doubt it, though.

The turbulence created by the car accident and the new contract reminds me of the situation in San Francisco during the 1999 season. The 49er’s quarterback, Steve Young, was knocked out and did not return to the game, or any game in the remainder of the season, suffering from symptoms of post-concussion syndrome. The concussion he suffered against the Cardinals was reportedly his second in a season that was only three weeks old. Young was forced to retire at the end of the year; the team informed him that he would be released if he did not retire. There is much to say about the 49er’s management and their loyalty to their best players, including Joe Montana.

I remember the night after the game very well, because I spent some time in the San Francisco area, and the news were full of Young’s injury and the fear that he might be lost for the season. And, by the way, there was an earthquake that very same day, only second-hand news compared to Young’s injury.

Tom Brady Car Accident: Patriots QB Crashes In Boston

HuffingtonPost.com – September 9, 2010

BOSTON — New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was unhurt in a two-vehicle accident near his home Thursday morning and hours later practiced as usual with his team just days before the season opener. He then agreed to a four-year extension that would make him the NFL’s highest paid player, according to a person with knowledge of the contract. The contract is worth an average of $19 million per year and begins in 2011, said the person, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the paperwork had not yet been filed with the NFL. Brady is making $6.5 million this season. The crash, at an intersection in Boston’s Back Bay area, knocked over a light pole and sent a passenger in the minivan that collided with Brady’s car to a hospital with injuries that were serious but not considered life-threatening, a police report said. [Read the full article...]

Tom Brady Contract Extension Makes Him NFL’s Highest Paid Player

HuffingtonPost.com – September 9, 2010

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — Two people with knowledge of the contract said Thursday night that Tom Brady has agreed to a four-year extension that would make him the NFL’s highest paid player. The extension for the New England Patriots quarterback begins in 2011 at an average of $18 million per year with a total of $48.5 million guaranteed, one of those persons said. Both persons spoke on condition of anonymity because the paperwork had not yet been filed with the NFL. Brady is making $6.5 million this season in the final year of a six-year deal. [Read the full article...]

So, here’s the task: Apply for a job. Any job. It doesn’t matter. Just make sure the devil will like the job description, and I am sure, once he approves, you will get it. If not, don’t complain to me. Please address your concerns to… you know who…

Sample Job Descriptions

• Packaging Industry

I would like to be a packaging designer for the electronics or children’s toys industry. It would be my pleasure to design plastic packaging that can only be opened by means of a chain saw.

• Public Services

I would like to work for the Motor Vehicle Registry.

• Management

I would like to replace my boss. The employees would rather work for the devil than for him.

C’mon! I know you have an idea, too! Share it by posting it below…

Charlie Brooker on guardian.co.uk – August 30, 2010

I bring all this up because I’ve been thinking some more about the “Ground Zero mosque” debate. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the horrible brilliance of the opponents’ endlessly parroted, emotionally charged phrase “Ground Zero mosque”, used to describe something which – at the risk of regurgitating last week’s column – isn’t at Ground Zero and isn’t a mosque.

Conservatives, generally, are far more adept at politically reframing concepts by giving them snappy-but-misleading nicknames than liberals. “Loony left”. “Boom-and-bust”. “Flip-flop”. “Ground Zero mosque”. All simplifications or outright lies – but they worked. Like advertisers, the right seems breezily unconcerned about the truth of the slogan, provided it rings up a sale. They slap the words “fun-size” on the packaging and wait for the public to buy it.

The left, meanwhile, tends to respond by flinging back tired old insults. Bastards! Fascists! Racists! This is wrong on several counts. For one thing, it’s counter-productive. Nothing riles an anti-mosque demonstrator more than being called a bigot. It’s a grotesque, misleading smear on a diverse group of individuals – a bit like claiming all Muslims are terrorists (which, coincidentally, the guy beside them is currently doing through a loudhailer). But worse than being insulting, it’s just plain unimaginative. At least the right bothers to invent a new buzzword each time it wants to fart some monstrous new lie into the ecosystem. And they’re often infuriatingly well-crafted buzzwords – combining impact with audacious disingenuousness. There must be an evil Don Draper tucked away somewhere coining these things, these catchy fibs, these deceptive jingles.

Have you tried doing it yourself? It’s not easy. I was hoping to illustrate this article with some self-created buzzwords for leftwingers to use. The first one I came up with was “molehill mountaineer”, a pejorative term to describe the sort of perpetually furious rightwing weevil who spends their life calculatedly conflating issues such as the “Ground Zero mosque” into gigantic media crapgasms. But then I realised that “molehill mountaineer” could equally be applied to many on the left too. So that’s no good. [Read the full article...]

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Queen of Misfortune

A Lady Jane Grey Novel by Peter Carroll

A Love Story of Almost Shakespearean Dimension!

Queen Of Misfortune is the fictional story of Lady Jane Grey as told by her beloved tutor, John Aylmer. At the time of her execution a stranger is recorded to have assisted her when, blind folded, she lost her way upon the scaffold. Was it the same ‘stranger’ who was also recorded to have visited her when she was imprisoned in the Tower? Little is known of this unfortunate girl who was beheaded for treason in the 16^th Century. She was only 16. She is omitted from the list of monarchs but was actually queen for nine days. Author Peter Carroll, in his novel, follows John Aylmer’s close relationship with Jane as her tutor and later, as she grows up, her lover. [More...]

Available at Amazon.Com, Amazon.co.uk, Barnes & Noble, and any other good bookstore.

Is your name on the casting list for the US show Dancing with the Stars? If yes, you are on the way into D-level prominence. Whoever joins the spectacle has nothing to loose.

E! Online reported on August 26, 2010:

We can report to you exclusively that Sarah Palin’s 19-year-old daughter Bristol Palin has been cast on the 11th season of DWTS, set to premiere Sept. 20, according to sources.As for the reports that David Hasselhoff, Audrina Patridge, The Situation and Brandy will also be part of the cast.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b197302_exclusive_bristol_palin_coming_dancing.html#ixzz0yC8xB2jP

As we all know, David Hasselhoff needs the attention, and, after all, the money. I hope he stays sober during the shows. One of his last appearances on German TV was in the “Musikantenstadel,” a show dedicated to Bavarian Oompah and Yodeling, you know, where real men wear their lederhosens, and the girls their dirndls. Maybe next year I might hire him to perform at my son’s birthday party…

At least for Bristol Palin it’s a logical move. After all, her ex-fiance demonstrates how to make money on TV without noticeable talent. He is being filmed while campaigning to be elected as mayor of Wasila, Alaska.

Having a masters degree in Electrical Engineering myself, I don’t doubt the necessity of complex algorithms that allow to produce search results from millions of websites within seconds. I don’t doubt the massive investment of money and manpower to provide us, the Internet users, with the information we are looking for.

However, I am nothing short of stupefied by the dumb-as-dumb-can-be search results I receive frequently. We are living in the 21st century. Computers listen to our voice, and they answer. Computers recognize traffic patterns and control traffic accordingly. Yet, computers cannot distinguish between the city of Boston and the rock band Boston. They tell you to enter your question like a regular sentence as if you were talking to a human. But this is where the intelligence stops. The search results – millions of them – are discouraging.

The ineffectiveness of presenting search results has been confirmed by an article I read recently in the online version of the New York Times (See: http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/16/google-buys-metaweb-to-improve-search-results/?hpw). Here is an excerpt:

There are some Web searches that Google doesn’t handle so well — like finding a famous person’s birthday, or searching for a word that means many different things. Search for “Boston,” for example, and all the top links are about the city in Massachusetts. But Boston is also the name of a band and 26 other cities.

Google said Friday that in an effort to improve these tricky types of search queries, it was buying Metaweb, a San Francisco start-up that says it makes Web sites smarter.

Hey, Google and Bing! Meet 44 Year Old ELIZA!

You may call me old-fashioned, but many, many years ago in a different lifetime of mine I played with a programming language called BASIC. I don’t even know if versions of BASIC still exist. The latest version, I believe, comes in form of Microsoft’s VisualStudio that includes an advanced version of VisualBasic. The most interesting, because interactive, program I found was ELIZA. The program listing (i.e. the source ode) for ELIZA fits on three pages of a standard 8.5″ x 11″ paper sheet. The results are, nevertheless, amazing.

ELIZA asks questions and responds intelligently to the user’s input. In scientific terms, “ELIZA is concerned with: (1) the identification of key words, (2) the discovery of minimal context, (3) the choice of appropriate transformations, (4) generation of responses in the absence of key words. ELIZA is a program which makes natural language conversation with a Computer possible.” (Source:  ELIZA – A Computer Program For the Study of Natural Language Communication Between Man And Machine by Joseph Weizenbach, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge, Mass., January 1966)

Looking at attributes like identification of keywords, discovery of minimal context, choice of appropriate transformations, generations of responses in the absence of keywords… Isn’t that exactly what we are looking for in a search engine? I wouldn’t mind some additional responses like “Do you mean the city or the rock band?”

Isn’t it amazing that Google spends millions in an effort to keep up with Bing? Bing, after all, provides better search results, but it still is no ELIZA. You can buy the document ELIZA – A Computer Program For the Study of Natural Language Communication Between Man And Machine for a mere $15! Just log on to http://portal.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=365168&dl=GUIDE&coll=GUIDE&CFID=95147346&CFTOKEN=39216600.

Demo Session With ELIZA

Well, the most popular application for ELIZA was resembling a psychologist, and that is clearly demonstrated in the session demo below. The responses are, nevertheless, amazing. The session also demonstrates convincingly the effective analysis of keywords and the generation of intelligent responses. As I mentioned before, the program listing is amazingly short. See http://home.cmit.net/rwolbeck/programmingtutorial/code/eliza.htm as an example.

Men are all alike
IN WHAT WAY
They’re always bugging us about something or other.
CAN YOU THINK OF A SPECIFIC EXAMPLE
Well, my boyfriend made me come here.
YOUR BOYFRIEND MADE YOU COME HERE
He says I’m depressed much of the time.
I AM SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE DEPRESSED
It’s true. I am unhappy.
DO YOU THINK COMING HERE WILL HELP YOU NOT TO BE UNHAPPY
I need some help, that much seems certain.
WHAT WOULD IT MEAN TO YOU IF YOU GOT SOME HELP
Perhaps I could learn to get along with my mother.
TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY
My mother takes care of me.
WHO ELSE IN YOUR FAMILY TAKES CARE OF YOU
My father.
YOUR FATHER
You are like my father in some way.
WHAT RESEMBLANCE DO YOU SEE
You are not very aggressive but I think you don’t want me to notice that.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT VERY AGGRESSIVE
You don’t argue with me.
WHY DO YOU THINK I DON’T ARGUE WITH YOU
You are afraid of me.
DOES IT PLEASE YOU TO BELIEVE I AM AFRAID OF YOU
My father is afraid of everybody.
WHAT ELSE COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK OF YOUR FATHER
Bullies.
DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND MADE YOU COME HERE

Am I suffering from a borderline personality disorder when I tell my son, “Patrick, use the fork!”, or “Patrick, I am your father!” … ? At times I tell my wife, who has a horseback-riding addiction, “May the horse be with you.” Does that mean I need to spend some time on the couch?

According to an article in today’s The Guardian:

Thanks to the work of French researchers, we now have a detailed diagnosis of the mental health challenges faced by Star Wars’ (evidently misunderstood) arch baddie Darth Vader.

In a letter entitled “Is Anakin Skywalker suffering from borderline personality disorder?”, soon to be published in the journal Psychiatry Research, Eric Bui, a psychiatrist at Toulouse University Hospital, and his colleagues, will set out why Anakin (later to be known across that galaxy far, far away as Darth Vader) matches six out of the nine borderline personality disorder criteria as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/jun/09/darth-vader-shrink

It seems that applying some psychotherapy could have helped Anakin (and me), and it might even have prevented him from turning to the dark side. The scientists stress the point that using the dark side of the Force is very similar to using drugs. It feels great when used, but it alters your consciousness and you know you shouldn’t do it.

I promise, as of tomorrow, I will enter the necessary 12-step program and fight my addiction.

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However, reporting continually about the current Internet scams suddenly comes with a major downside: Due to the increased attention of my blog more and more people find my website and try to cancel the scam services I report about. Yes, they contact me to cancel their service!

As bizarre as this behavior might be at first look, it also indicates how helpless these people are when it comes to matters of the Internet. They don’t have any records of their transactions (i.e. credit card charge) or the website they used to sign up. Neither did they read/print the terms of conditions. This may be a scam but these guys do provide cancelation information. I have no knowledge about whether or not that information is valid, but right now it doesn’t matter because these people, who contact me, have no clue whatsoever. Unfortunately, that makes them also the perfect victim.

The first case I reported was regarding the so-called “Acai Berry Diet.” I was contacted by Joseph Bennett who addressed me in a manner like he believed I was the supplier of the diet pills – See my post at Acai Berry DietExposed. I responded to Joseph by contacting him per e-mail, explaining that he had barked at the wrong tree.

The same day I received another request through the contact form on FrogenYozurt.Com. This time it was a lady apparently working for a real estate and property management business. She is also – you won’t believe it – a Notary Public. Her message was (excerpt): “I was instructed that I can cancel within 30 days for a full refund. I agreed to $2.95 but was also charged $2.95 plus $79.99 this is something I did not agree too. I want to cancel and want t a refund.” Note: The typos are not mine; this is what she wrote.

I responded by telling her, too, that I am only reporting about the scams and that I am the wrong person to contact. Then she asked: “do you know how to contact these people?“, without any reference of what and where she had ordered. I told her I was unable to help her. Then she responded again and recommended I should find out why I did receive her request and not the people who sold the service to her… Sorry, but in this case all help is lost!

To make things worse I received another response to my post FastNetLearning.com – Make At Least An Average Of $369 Per Day, the one where I wrote in BIG letters Welcome To Another Scam … Let me write this again … I received a response to a post on this blog: “I need to get my refund of $79.99 that you took out of my account per Matt Fry. He said I had to notify at this email address. I cannot avoid this as I am on Social Security. Please advise. Thank you. Need it refunded as soon as possible.”

At that time several thoughts came up like opening the window and scream or banging my head at the wall, probably causing my wife to call the paramedics. A bottle of Jameson came to mind, too, but, honestly, I am fine now.

While it is easy to ridicule these very vulnerable people, it also makes me incredibly angry for more reasons I can express here. After this last incident I decided not to help by writing directly to their e-mail address. First, it seems that all help is lost, and, secondly, I am getting more and more paranoid about revealing my e-mail address to everybody who fell for a scam. Sorry, guys!

Here is a last advice: If you fell for the Kelly Richards scheme, FastNetLearning.Com, the Weight Loss (Acai Berry Diet), or any other scam, contact your credit card provider or bank immediately and report a scam!

More Cancelation Requests:

June 10, 2010 per Contact Form by Wayne Bell

“I did NOT authorize any transactions from my credit card. If you do not cancel and credit my account I will report you to the authorities and take leagal action against you” – No information regarding order, account, address, or anything else.

June 14, 2010 per Contact Form by Susan Snyder

“I did not request this …..I want a REFUND NOW !!!!!! This is a SCAM !!!!!!”

June 15, 2010 per Contact Form by Preston O’Brown

“Please cancel my account and respond to my cancellation email.”

June 15, 2010 per Contact Form by Diana Archer

“on 6-7-10 Iauthorized a $2.95 to be contacted . I was contacted thru my daughters phone ,and I told him I got it to see if either my granddaughter or daughter were interested and they are not interested. I went on my online banking to find that they had charged me another 79.99 on the 14th. which leads me to believe that this is just another Scam. I want all my money returned to me P.D.Q. Diana Archer”

Initially, I wasn’t sure if this was, in fact, a cancelation request. People who fall for the scam don’t seem to have the best communication skills. But then I received further requests within minutes from the same person:

“I want a return of my money, 79.99 Immeadatley.”

“I want a return of my money, 79.99 Immeadatley.How do I go about doing so. Thank You Please reply Diana ARCHER”

June 16, 2010 by Judith L. Geisler responding to my post “FastNetLearning.com – Make At Least An Average Of $369 Per Day“

“I need help here. I signed up for your trial offer of $2.95 on 6/2, with your info that after a period of time, like 30 days?, to make some money, I would THEN be charged $79.99 for membership. Yesterday, 6/14, I got my bank statement for my “special fund” account that I keep for small projects that I want to try before buying, and to my SHOCK there was a charge for $79.99 billed on 6/8, just six days after I signed up. Since I keep a VERY MINIMUM amount in this account your charge caused my account to be hit with a $34.00 overdraft charge. This is very bad business practice on your part. So here’s what’s going to happen. You have lost me as a customer. Cancel my account with your program, and then credit my charge card account with the $2.95, the $79.99, AND the $34.00 overdraft fee. I will have my bank’s fraud protection division contacting you if this is not resolved IMMEDIATELY. I do not have a web site or an account number from you since I have not heard from you since I signed up for your offer. I was only able to gather YOUR web site from the bank statement vendor charge. I expect RAPID results.”

June 17, 2010 by Andrea Gernheuser per Contact Form

“I did not authorize a deduction of $79.99 from my checking acct. Please email me back to take care of this matter.”

You get the picture. Cancelation requests are coming in on a daily basis.

However, fool if you think it’s over… Just recently I read an article in one of the online newspapers about companies in India offering their service to circumvent captcha-enabled comment or contact forms. They hire human beings to log on to websites and manually enter their customers’ message.

I believe, that my website – like many, many others – is now a target of such services. Lately I keep receiving messages through this website’s contact form, and they all contain the same message:

“We are interested to increase traffic to your website, please get back to us in order to discuss the possibility in further detail.”

Besides the lack of an effective marketing message, there are several red flags popping up. Again, the plain message didn’t do anything to boost my confidence in the sender’s competence. The next warning sign is the e-mail address, usually a gmail account. There is nothing wrong with gmail, but professionals, especially those in the marketing business, do have e-mail addresses dedicated to their business. Last, but not least, my contact form also delivers additional information about the sender’s origination. The e-mails I receive come usually from… India.

As we all know there are programs at work that scan all websites on the world wide web, and some of them are designed to scrape e-mail addresses from website pages. These addresses are then stored in databases and sold to customers wanting to send out their spam. I will use their service in a reversed way by posting the e-mail addresses that offered to “increase traffic to my website.”

Spam the Spammers!

nathan.kyle013@gmail.com – Sent from (ip address): 122.161.93.160 - (ABTS-North-Dynamic-160.93.161.122.airtelbroadband.in)
charlesgatessss@gmail.com – Sent from (ip address): 122.163.117.163 - (ABTS-North-Dynamic-163.117.163.122.airtelbroadband.in)
melodiemarle33@gmail.com – Sent from (ip address): 122.163.145.110 - (ABTS-North-Dynamic-110.145.163.122.airtelbroadband.in)
bloomsoft16@gmail.com – Reverse DNS Authenticity : [Possibly Forged]

Let’s add some scammers as well:

support@webprofitclub.com
jonchannomvwvr@btconline.net
jonchanncloto@speedy.com.ar
jonchannqrdeu@intelnet.net.gt
info@trustedmailsender.com
office@sitebuildersnow.info
admin@sitebuildersnow.info