My Two Cents

Frankly, I get tired of my writing the day after pieces are published.
- Ben S. Clarke

Honestly, I had given up reading Ben S. Clarke’s column in the Greenfield Recorder. In my personal opinion, he would be better off writing a book in the range of “All I Really Need To Know I Learn By Watching FOX News.” That’s what it is. His writing is lightyears away from being original. I, the unapologetic liberal, and my wife, the registered Republican, have more intriguing discussions about US politics. Heck, even my almost-four-year-old, who doesn’t have a clue about politics, is more challenging.

Let me distort a line by Lowell Mather, a character from my all-time favorite TV comedy Wings: Ben S. Clarke, I have only two words for your writing: Bor Ring!

I am wondering if Tim Blagg, editor at the Greenfield Recorder, had a more sinister plan in mind when he asked Ben S. Clarke to write for the Greenfield Recorder, a small newspaper widely considered as leaning toward liberal views. His official turn – and I am guessing here – might be the “fair sampling of political opinions.” Maybe – and yet again I am guessing – his real intention was to demonstrate to the public the incompetence of hardcore Republicans. I may be wrong, though.

So, you may ask, what was the reason that I read his column again? The answer is easy: After having had a few dialogs with Ben S. Clarke through this website, I have learned a few things about Ben S. Clarke. First, there is his almost embarrassing inability to maintain a rational discussion when he is being criticized – Charlie Sheen comes to mind when looking at Ben S. Clarke’s irrational rants. Secondly, whenever he writes his “column,” he never fails to fail as if attempting to confirm that my comparison with Cliff Claven (See my post Cheers, Ben S. Clarke, For An Enjoyable Cliff Claven Performance) actually makes sense. Ergo, I decided to have some fun. After all, Cliff Claven, the mail delivery man in Cheers, is a lovable character.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Ben S. Clarke bashing President Obama or Democrats in general (I am referring here to his “column” in the April 13, 2011 edition). We all have the right to disagree, and I am all for a good and challenging discussion. But here is a young man with no authority or experience (other than watching FOX News), and he dares to lecture the President of the United States on getting a “real world lesson.”

To Ben S. Clarke’s credit, he spent six months in a foreign country (Germany) where he learned – and eventually forgot – to write and speak the language. One might think, Ben S. Clarke had learned a lesson or two on foreign relationships, but, unfortunately, he didn’t. I can tell. I spent my first thirty-four years in Germany.

Talking about experience, in his last “column” he plays the expert on all things Gitmo and foreigners who hate Americans.

Well, welcome to the real world, Mr. President. Once again. These radicals do not hate us because of what we do; they hate us because of WHO WE ARE. We – the infidels – treat women as equals. Shame on us.
- Source: The Greenfield Recorder, April 13, 2011

There is much to say about this comment, which is just a mere copy out of “The Conservative Republican’s Cookbook of Clichés,” but that’s not my point. What caught my attention was the line “We treat woman as equals.” Why? Let me cite another quote out of Ben S. Clarke’s “real world”:

I have a strict policy about changing diapers: I don’t. It has something to do with gender equity and division of infant labor duties.
- Source: The Greenfield Recorder, September 29, 2010

In his first contribution to the Greenfield Recorder he addressed the cooking issue:

I am not proposing we amend the Constitution and smuggle in an undocumented lesbian from Honduras to run for President. But I would at least hear her out. Assuming she could cook.
- Source: The Greenfield Recorder, March 3, 2010

Well, Ben S. Clarke, explain to me and the residents of Franklin County your view of treating women as equals. In your “column” you verify President Obama’s promises with the results as you see them, without any intention of ever substantiating your claims. Now it’s time that somebody verifies your statements.

Damn! One little misstep, and your credibility goes down the toilet!

Welcome to the real world, Ben S. Clarke.

Note: You can comment on a piece by sending an e-mail to benclarkeopinoin@gmail.com.

My Two Cents

Frankly, I get tired of my writing the day after pieces are published.
- Ben S. Clarke

It seems that Ben S. Clarke, a regular contributor to the Greenfield, Massachusetts newspaper – The Recorder, is still on the search of his own identity. He started off as a Washington-DC-based speech writer, but after George 43 his employment choices were virtually non-existent.

Once back in his home town he started off as a Rush-Limbaugh-wannabe. That didn’t work out, either. Perhaps he finally realized that Massachusetts is… well, liberal. Then, in an apparent attempt to appeal to fellow Greenfield residents, he showed interest in writing about local politics, but being away from home for roughly ten years and not reading the local newspaper proved to be an educational disadvantage. Rants about his personal life like his diaper-changing-phobia and dating problems did not help to further a reputation as a writer – Sorry, he writes opinions. In my world, the term “journalist” implies research of a topic and objective presentation of the facts, skills that escape Ben S. Clarke.

For a while thereafter it seemed the bulldog had been leashed. My assumption is that somebody at the Recorder, namely the dork who hired him, told Ben S. Clarke to concentrate on topics where he possesses the necessary knowledge – National politics. I also believe that the Recorder came under some scrutiny and pressure from readers who felt offended. I may be wrong, and this is only a guess on my part.

However, the lack of journalistic skills still shows with every Ben S. Clarke article the Recorder posts. Writing from the belly without substantiating facts not only calls for rebuking responses by people familiar with the subject. In the long run it will damage the reputation of an otherwise well-respected newspaper. And yes, I still would like to talk to the dork who gave in to Ben S. Clarke’s mother and hired a speech-writer with no journalistic background. Even a reputable newspaper like the Recorder will eventually suffer from the impact of nepotism.

Ben S. Clarke reminds me of the Cheers character Cliff Claven, you know, the mail man lacking any background information, yet still able to explain everything. The difference being that Cliff Claven is a likable character, while both, Cliff Claven as well as Ben S. Clarke, are vying for attention through means of highly questionable rants. And that is why I thank Ben S. Clarke for his frequent comedic performances.

Honestly, I learned not to read his blubbering, and fool if you do. I am more amused by the comments of those people who, unlike Ben S. Clarke, actually have the competence to address topics that Ben S. Clarke writes about. That also means, I don’t have to prove my point of Ben S. Clarke’s incompetence. I just quote.

Ben Clarke states that he has “scant understanding of the true intricacies of collective bargaining.” That was probably the only thing he got right in his entire column.

He goes on to union bash and cite lots of statistics to back his anti-union rhetoric. The problem is, his statistics have no source and most of his statements just are not true.

:

I work as a lead organizer for the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME).

Unions CANNOT use dues for political campaigns. Members can voluntarily give money to the union for its Political Action Committee. That’s it.

And unions have a process by which they choose political candidates to support. It’s strictly based on how strong the candidate is on issues concerning working people. For instance, if the politician voted to raise the minimum wage, then they’d probably get union support. If they voted to send manufacturing jobs oversees, then they would lose it. And, by the way, it just so happens that most of the candidates who also support working men and women are Democrats.

:

And as for Clarke’s statement about Jimmy Hoffa Jr. being “one unattractive man.” To that I say, you’re no Brad Pitt yourself!

Karen Rudy Renaud, Greenfield – The Recorder, March 11, 2011

Let me add to the Brad Pitt comment that Ben S. Clarke did admit to having dating problems in an earlier article.

If you live in Franklin County, Massachusetts, and you read the local newspaper, the Recorder, you can’t avoid being confronted with Ben S. Clarke’s lessons on life, may it be his dating problems, his diaper-changing-phobia, or other “issues” that are of interest to nobody else but Ben S. Clarke. Ben S. Clarke, whenever he writes, successfully manages to offend, in this current case the entire population of Vermont. In the January 5 edition he condemns Vermont for enforcing speed limits (in my personal opinion, he whines like a little, spoiled princess), because he got caught, and now he has to pay a $186 speeding ticket. Yes, the laws do apply to everybody, even Ben S. Clarke.

I used to love Vermont; even thought about moving there upon departing Washington. No longer. Vermont, you are shunned. As a non-skiing, non-anarchist carnivore with little craving for maple syrup, I am confident I can uphold said shun with Dwight Schrute-like exactitude.

- Ben S. Clarke, “My Turn,” The Recorder, January 5, 2011

My turn is, everybody has the right to be stupid, but don’t submit your stupidity into public record. It’s not a smart career move. The question is, can you call going 48 mph in a 30 mph zone, in an area you are not familiar with, stupid? Think about it! That’s a whopping 60% over the speed limit, well worth the $186 as fined!

So, the story is, he and a friend, a lobbyist for the National Rifle Association, took her ’98 Toyota with 183,000 miles… no, wait… her “fairly sizeable Lexus SUV” to drive to Manchester “to do a little shopping and have dinner.” Now wait… Ben, is it true? Your hometown of Greenfield, Massachusetts is not good enough to take out a friend from Washington, D.C. “to do a little shopping and have dinner?”

Okay, actually, I’m with you. I do the same, meaning I take my family frequently to Walmart, followed by a nice dinner in Northampton in our 1997 Jeep with 226,000+ miles on the meter. However, I don’t have a mother, who is a member of the so-called “Greenfield Coalition for a Sustainable Future,” and who proclaims publicly the virtue of shopping and dining in Greenfield, Massachusetts, to support local businesses. And yet, you have the audacity to prove her wrong on public record?

Your mother is also the Director of the Franklin County Community Meals Program, an organization dedicated to help those in Franklin County who cannot afford buying their own food. And yet, you have the audacity to write about shopping and dining in Manchester? There are families in our county who, with $186 at hand, could manage to buy food for a whole month… well, provided there was a Walmart in town.

To emphasize my point: Everybody has the right to be stupid, but don’t submit your stupidity into public record. It’s not good for the reputation. The question is, is writing about shopping and dining in Manchester, considering the underlying issues, stupid?

I guess, in the end it doesn’t matter, neither to Ben S. Clarke nor his mother. After all, as we all suspect, it might have been she, the one so skilled in the art of nepotism, who got him the writing job at the Recorder.

I still would like to talk to the nerd who hired him, and I would like to tell him: Everybody has the right to be stupid, but don’t submit your stupidity into public record. It’s not good for business, and granting favors might bite you at some time. The question is, was hiring Ben S. Clarke stupid?

New York Times, Washington Post, and all other leading newspapers all over the country struggling to survive the Internet boom, move over and hear my ode to The Recorder, serving the people of Greenfield, Massachusetts and the North Quabbin region. Here in Greenfield, Massachusetts, we read the paper version of our beloved newspaper, and, while I have a disturbed relationship with the native Greenfielder, I am far from being sarcastic. My wife and I love the Recorder (as well as our local radio station, WHAI; if only Jay Fedanza wasn’t a Yankees fan).

We moved to Greenfield about eight years ago, totally unprepared for the cultural clash, but who could imagine that you can live in an American equivalent of Leonard Wibberly’s Duchy of Grand Fenwick, or even that a Chevy Chase movie like Funny Farm was not based on mere fantasy, but careful observation.

To put it in a nut-shell, the town of Greenfield (population 17,000+) is mentally, and in many cases visibly, stuck in the 1950s. The native Greenfielder (i.e. born and raised in Greenfield) is emphatically opposed to any changes that would interfere with his established lifestyle, even if it means hanging on to sub-standards, for instance, in medical care and fighting modern intrusions such as a big-box store (Oh Devil, Thy Name Is Walmart!). I frequently make it a point that The Greenfielder is a Soviet-Communist-Amish people – See my post A Species Of Its Own: The Greenfielder.

The Recorder has accumulated a large and stable list of followers, and I don’t expect that this will change in the near future. Their reporting is good, and keeps us up-to-date about what’s happening locally; National and international news are usually by Associated Press. Commentaries written by Chris Collins are a feast to read; those by Ben Clarke usually make me (and my wife) broil, and I can’t wait to get my hands on that keyboard for a flaming response to his offending humor – See my post Speechwriter Ben Clarke And His Offensive Humor.

And this may be the main reason for The Recorder’s success. The Recorder provides all of us an additional means of communication, especially when we thoroughly disagree on local issues, and a face-to-face confrontation is not advisable due to possible emotional outbursts. The letters to the editor are one of the most-read parts of The Recorder, and whether we agree with a reader’s contribution or not, we are exchanging ideas and keep the discussion alive.

And yes, The Recorder does have a website (http://www.recorder.com/), one of those amateurish throw-togethers that make you cringe and run for some TUMS. I always compare it to painting a car, because, believe it or not, everybody can paint a car. You take some oil paint and a big brush… You get the picture; it will not come out as a professional job, and The Recorder‘s website is a fine example.

But, in fact, it doesn’t matter. All those big newspapers around the country depend on top-notch websites these days in order to survive by creating additional income. It even goes so far that a highly regarded newspaper such as the Washington Post needs to sell advertisement space to known scammers, who are currently being investigated by the FBI and the Federal Trade Commission.

The online version of The Recorder is also designed to include ad space, but it is usually about playing golf in the Pioneer Valley, the hidden hills of Western Massachusetts, local TV listings, and the such. In the same spirit they can afford to post on their website:

Why can’t I read the entire newspaper online?

What you’ll find on recorder.com, and what you won’t

You can read the full story in The Recorder…but not ALL the stories.

You can find a lot of very useful information on Recorder.com, such as Classified ads, local Business Directories, links to other useful sites, weather information, local Arts & Entertainment schedules, obituaries, school lunches, the entire text of selected significant stories up to a week old, and many other great features. Many of these items can’t be found in the print version of our paper.

But you won’t find everything on our web site. You won’t find our police and court logs, or the entire local news report or sports. Why? Well, it’s just not good business to give away EVERYTHING we have to offer. Our subscribers mean a lot to us, and they value the service we perform by giving them the news and features they want.

To get the most the Recorder has to offer, our readers can access our web site AND check out our print version over their morning cup of coffee. Between the two, our readers can find out all the best information locally as well as nationally and worldwide.

Source: http://www.recorder.com/Online_Edition.cfm

Greenfield, Massachusetts may be mentally stuck in the 1950′s but their world is still in order when it comes to their local newspaper. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned; I just don’t know what it is.

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