THE GREENFIELDER


Life in Greenfield, Massachusetts

The chief obstacle to the progress of the Greenfielder is the Greenfielder.
- Wilfried F. Voss

Back in 2002 my wife and I, unprepared for the cultural clash, moved to Greenfield, Massachusetts, where we learned about a peculiar species, the Greenfielder. It is impossible to describe the Greenfielder in only few words. The Greenfielder, at his heart, is a communist in so far that everybody is equal – with equal voting rights – but with a few ones more equal than the rest. Political decisions, including votes and elections, are made by a very active, aggressive minority in the form of “If you are not with us, you are against the system, and that is now allowed.” – Politburo comes to mind. So, the Greenfielder is kind of a Soviet communist. In addition, there is the fight against every intrusion of modern life improvements, almost to the degree of the Amish people. In all consequence, the Greenfielder is a Soviet-Communist-Amish people. As a result I created the term CAVE = Citizens Against Virtually Everything.

I never imagined I would live in an American equivalent of Leonard Wibberly’s Duchy of Grand Fenwick, or even that a Chevy Chase movie like Funny Farm was not based on mere fantasy, but careful observation. Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled to live here, and I am looking forward to all future twists and turns that will change my life to resemble that of the people of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

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Greenfield, Massachusetts

Politics

The C.A.V.E. People

  • Ben S. Clarke, How Well Do You Know Your Family?
    For those who don't know, Ben S. Clarke is a "columnist" for our local newspaper, The Greenfield Recorder (I live in Greenfield, Massachusetts.) Ben S. Clarke's "contributions" to the Recorder customarily include offensive comments about everything in life, and he does it so eloquently every other week to the dismay [More...]

  • How A "Big Box Store" Will Destroy Downtown Greenfield, Massachusetts
    Originally posted January 18, 2011 - TheGreenfielder.Com Really, I am sick and tired of the misleading comments regarding the impact of a potential large retail store on downtown Greenfield, Massachusetts. Today'sRecorder - who seems to allow more opponents than proponents to comment lately - shows another "My Turn" article written by Hazel [More...]

  • Ben S. Clarke: Shopping And Dining Far Away From Greenfield, Massachusetts
    Frankly, I get tired of my writing the day after pieces are published. - Ben S. Clarke, August 18, 2010 If you live in Franklin County, Massachusetts, and you read the local newspaper, the Recorder, you can't avoid being confronted with Ben S. Clarke's lessons on life, may it be his dating [More...]

  • Greenfield, Massachusetts: Where Most People Shop Out Of Town
    Let me post another comment directed at the C.A.V.E. (= Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, a.k.a. "Greenfield Coalition for a Sustainable Future," a.k.a. the politburo of Greenfield, Massachusetts. Yesterday, I did the unspeakable yet again: My family and I drove to Northampton to shop at Walmart. In combination of [More...]

  • Don’t Bury My Heart In Greenfield, Massachusetts
    I am more 100 percent American than some of the born Americans. I resent some losses of freedom more quickly. I mean I want to be proud of my country, I think more than a born American does. That way I feel I am an immigrant. Otherwise I have never [More...]

Business

  • Greenfield, Massachusetts And The Retail Development – "My Turn" by Penny Rickets
    Reprinted from the Greenfield Recorder "My Turn" column (December 4, 2010) with permission received from the author, Penny Rickets. Broaden the conversation Let's hear from these groups on proposed store Maybe 5 minutes is too long for public comment. Of course I'm being sarcastic, but once you give people 5 minutes to weigh in [More...]

  • Shop Outside of Greenfield, Massachusetts And Save Money
    Just recently, members of the Greenfield Coalition for a Sustainable Future (whose identities are carefully hidden) plus a number of local businesses have started promotional actions to increase awareness of the "Walmart Issue." They encourage residents to shop local for a number of dubious reasons. Before I go into more details, [More...]

  • Motor Vehicle Registration – Please Take A Number…
    It was time. After more than ten years of driving the same vehicle and after 146,000+ miles, my wife had to give up her Nissan Altima. It's a nice car with a great gas mileage of about 30 mpg (mixed city and highway), but ten harsh New England winters do [More...]

  • Greenfield, Massachusetts: Not A Good Place For Medical Problems
    After many years of knowing that my wisdom teeth would cause a problem eventually I finally had an appointment with a dental specialist in Hadley, Massachusetts. During the roughly thirty-minutes drive from Greenfield, Massachusetts to Hadley I wondered why I was driving more than twenty miles to see my dentist, [More...]

  • Dubious Business in Greenfield, Massachusetts: Living Easy Spas and Contracting
    This post is part of an article series on businesses in Greenfield, Massachusetts and Franklin County, Massachusetts. Click here to see all posts on the same subject. Living Easy Spas & Contracting My wife and I moved to Greenfield, Massachusetts in 2002, after we had bought a beautiful old farmhouse. The price [More...]